It's almost Christmas....my first without you in 47 years. There are Christmas lights and Christmas trees and packages wrapped up and tied with bows. We have finished shopping for groceries for Christmas Eve but this year Honey, something besides you will be missing......mince meat pie. None of us shares your passion for it.
I sold my car in Alaska and with the money was able to get one down here in Utah. I hated not having you there to know what to look for in a used car. I had Mark check it out and Lola's son Lane did too. After they looked it over and drove it, I took it to Pep Boys and had a diagnostic run on it. Everything checked out so I bought it.
Driving to Payson, I recalled another time....June 9, 1977. It was our anniversary and you usually weren't very good about buying me presents. Instead, you would tell me just to go out and buy myself something I wanted. Honey, do you remember how many disagreements we had over that.....(about 46). I would try and explain that it wasn't really the gift that mattered, but the idea that you would take the time and thought into buying me something. Which you jokingly would respond..."Well I thought about it and it's the thought that counts." You couldn't understand why I didn't find that funny. Well this particular day, you did think. I went out to find a brand new Mercury station wagon with a big bow on it.
We went on many wonderful trips in that wagon. It was perfect for the nine of us. I remember our first trip was to Flaming Gorge to my family's reunion and then on to Yellowstone. We would return to Yellowstone four more times as a family and you would pay the kids a dime for every animal they saw.
I just had a memory that made me laugh. Remember when we went to Knotts Berry Farm and you got on a ride with the kids. You were riding in old cars. When you bought your ticket you thought you would be able to drive the cars. Instead they went around and around on a track. The look on your face when I saw you come around towards me sitting in your little car, as you circled around on a little track was priceless. You looked so disgusted as you reached up and spinned your little steering wheel that twirled around in a useless circle. You wouldn't go on another ride until more than twenty years later when the kids and I talked you into going on the Matterhorn at Disney World in Florida. We erroneously (Alright. We kind of lied.) told you that it wouldn't be scary.
How I treasure the memories of our trips in the big red station wagon.
Do you know what my greatest regret is right now Honey. It is that I wasted so many precious moments of our life by being angry or upset over things that don't even matter today. I wish God would let me have a "do-over" and I would not waste a minute knowing what I now know and missing you as I now do.
I am constantly thinking of you Honey. You continue in my thoughts and you are still included in my prayers.
I remain loving you
Far Beyond the 12th of Never.