Every morning I wake up with a pressure that seems to squeeze me. It stays throughout the day, and I know that it is because the 13th is coming.
Do you remember the poem I wrote for you when your dad died.
I know that when a heart is full of sorrow
as though the dark of night may never see the dawn,
it's hard to bear the burden squarely on your shoulders
and say "He's gone, but I must carry on."
I know for every drop of rain you see no rainbow,
for every bird you see, you hear no song.
I know it hurts to face the coming 'morrow.
But I am gone, and you must carry on.
So face the future bravely, head held proudly.
Make every dream we've ever dreamed come true my son.
For though you see me not I'm always with you
and with calloused hands will help you carry on.
So please hold back your tears and feel no sorrow.
For it's here in heaven that I now belong.
There's work in God's Holy Habitation
and with a happy heart I too shall carry on.
Now my words seem so hollow. I'm doing the best I can Honey. Somedays are better than others. I'm not certain what my purpose here is anymore for after all, you were my purpose for so many years. I wake up in the morning and put one foot in front of the other and pray that I am walking down the path I should be walking.
I need you to do something for me Honey. I know that where you are at now, you have the answers. So if you see me walking and if I seem to be stumbling or going off track, please nudge me back onto the right road. Help me stay on the one that will lead me back to you.
I miss you Darling and I will love you
Far Beyond the 12th of Never.