Hi Honey.
Do you have any idea how hard this time of year is for me?
I remember exactly what we were doing this time last year. We were painting our bedroom, making it comfortable for the long winter that was ahead of us. You were so positive Honey. You just knew everything was going to be okay. You worked so hard in getting the sheetrock up in the utility room and getting it mudded.
Halloween of last year we had Chase over tending him while the kids worked at the Spook Alley.
Honey, I had no idea that in two weeks the love of my life would be gone. I had no idea that I would not be sleeping in that room we were painting nor doing laundry in the room you had worked so hard on.
I had no idea I only had two weeks to tell you that I love you. Two weeks to fix you the things you liked to eat. Two weeks to bring you your Pepsi. Two weeks to watch the shows we liked to watch on TV. Two weeks to lay by your side while we both read, your cute little glasses perched on the end of your nose. Two weeks to drive to North Pole and pick up your medicine from Safeway Pharmacy. Two weeks to go to the Bakery and get your biscuits and gravy. Two weeks to try and get your feet warm. Two weeks to listen as you called your brother and sisters to tell them that you were getting better everyday. Two weeks to smell your Old Spice cologne. I didn't know Honey. I didn't know.
And now I know. And now I know and it hurts so bad.
Did I tell you I love you enough? Did I tell you how proud I was of you with how you dealt with your sickness? How you didn't give in and you didn't give up? Did I tell you how thankful I was that you always had my back and that I knew I always had you to talk to, to confide in. Did I tell you that I was glad to be married to a man with morals and standards. I hope I did Honey. For right now, I don't think I told you enough.
If I didn't Honey. Please know that I did all those things and more.
Please know that I truly will love you
Far Beyond the 12th of Never.
Susie
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