Merry Christmas Sweetheart:
You were with us this year, even if we couldn't see you or hold you. You were with us on December 3rd, when I took my mountain man Christmas ornaments to your boys and a tree to hang them on. They were your favorite ornaments, so I gave them to Vince and Crush to keep. You were with us when we ate the meatloaf and mashed potatoes and settled down on the couch to watch television until the wee hours of the morning. You were with us on Christmas Eve when your crazy family gathered together and ate too much, laughed enough, and remembered having you with us last year. Last year you gave Crush a flannel jacket, so I bought him another this year and signed your name to it.
You were with Vince and Rainee and her family on their Caribbean cruise. The night before they left, Rainee dreamed of you. In her dream you told her you and your dad were with them. You told her to watch for the signs, so she did. When they went to board the ship, right in front of them sat a large storage container. In the upper left hand corner it read "CAT", the same emblem your dad always had on the caps he wore. As they walked through the buffet line, it was announced "Someone just requested we play some Lynnrd Skynyrd. One of your favorite songs was "Simple Man" by Lynnrd Skynyrd. Then as Rainee looked up, the gentleman in line in front of her was wearing a tee shirt with the words "Born Free" across it. Kid Rock's "Born Free" is your song. I listened to it every time I went for my walks in Utah.
So my darling boy, knowing you were with us...beside us made getting through this holiday season easier. I know you are just a breath away although I can't see you, or hear you or touch you. I know you are with your boys and with your siblings and with your mom.
I posted on Mark's Facebook that I recalled the time I found you and Mark curled up sleeping behind the Christmas Tree. You were bound and determined to catch Santa. And the times you would send Haley out to see if Santa had came yet. You knew the rule was "No one up until the street lights went out," so you would send her out to get in trouble. I am so thankful for my memories, honey.
Honey, it was my first Christmas without you...one of the many firsts I'm about to experience without you, so to know you are beside us...with us made it bearable this year. I love you so much and I miss you more than words can say, but you are here aren't you. I can almost hear your laughter.
Sweet peace my darling boy. Someday I will be with you and your dad again.
I love you forever, love you for always, forever and ever my baby you'll be.