We sit in the motel room until about five o'clock in the morning. During that time your friends told us how deeply you had gotten yourself into the drug scene. Not only were you selling to support your own habit, you were also selling to support the habits of your addicted friends.
I then understood your rationalization in your words "If keeping food on my friends' tables and clothes on their kids' backs makes me bad, then I'm bad." You knew what you were doing wasn't right, so in some "right" place in your mind, you wanted to be right. Your rationalization was misplaced my darling boy. No matter how you tried to paint the picture, it turned out distorted...and in your heart of hearts you knew it.
You were in a lot of trouble. When your friend took your truck for those two days, he also took the cocaine that was in it...$6,000.00 worth. The suppliers wanted their money. Honey, I can't even begin to realize how far you had gotten yourself into this mess. There is so much I still don't know; so much you were going to tell me. I know that this version I write, in no way will be complete. So it will be what I witnessed, what your dad witnessed and what your siblings witnessed. You were in bad trouble with bad people.
Sunday morning after we arrived back home from the motel, your dad and I met with your brother and sisters. We told them everything we knew. We told them you had promised to be home that day which you did. You laid down on the floor in front of the fireplace and fell fast asleep. Your dad told Mark and Shannon's fiance Robert to go stand outside with baseball bats. If anyone tried to get to Daren they were to use them. Car after car after car pulled up and time after time after time, Mark and Robert told them to go away.
Sheree and I went out to your truck and found the pager you used. We wrote down every telephone number that came across the pager.
I called "M" and asked him who the supplier was. He told me he couldn't tell me. That if he told me, they would kill him. "Okay, I said. Tell the supplier we have Daren's pager and that we are taking down the numbers on it. Tell him he had better stop calling. He said he would do that.
We watched the pager and when the one telephone number stopped calling, we knew which one was the supplier.
I didn't dare use our telephone, because I was afraid the call would be traced. Instead, I rode to the 7-11 and used the pay phone there. I called the Provo Police and told them what was going on. I told them I had the telephone number of the supplier and I gave it to them.
I went home and fixed clam chowder and waited for you to wake up. When you did, we were all waiting for you in your Dad's and my bedroom. We called you and you came back to find your family waiting to confront you. When everyone had a chance to tell you how much you were loved and needed, they left the room. I was there alone with you...tears flowing freely down my face. I told you what had gone on while you had been sleeping. You slumped to the floor and with tears rolling down your own cheeks you cried "Mom. You don't understand. They will kill me."
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